whatever..

im not sure what is happening to me lately...
i cant think straight on what i really want...i kept asking people around me on every details..even for a simple thing..i couldn't make up my mind..im not sure why..
things that is so simple tend to be so complicated,,
so complicated until me myself didnt know what's best for my life...my future..

im afraid that one day when i need to make my own decision,,it'll be going to be tough..
tough in choosing the rite thing for me...
tough in making sure i didn't screw up...
huhuhu..
so many things to be thinking of..
so many things to be settled down ..
im not sure if i could..
im not sure if im capable of doing those things..
i want to be somebody...
i want to be noticeable...
i guess that is what most people wants rite...
or its just me?

oh well..
for now i think i'll try make up my mind in what i want to become....
i try to think for myself..
i try not to depend on others,,,
i try..
i will try,,,

i want to depend on my own self...
not others,,,
although i know that sometimes we have to... but ...think back...
i guess not all things we can depend on others...
so wish me luck..

i guess..

I'll try...

just be yourself and u'll be ok...

"just be urself
at least try to believe in urself...
some may understand this 'terms',,,but some will only think that these are just a piece of s##t...
yeah u noe what i mean rite,,,

this quotes which been written by some guy...(i guess or is it women..emmm never noe..) are actually brilliant...
that is for my personal opinion..
yeah its truly am awesome..it has some sort of mysterious kind of feeling..i mean the meaning are totally can change ones life..believe me..

be yourself...
i always been thinking.. how could you be someone else..its kind of impossible rite..but it does possible..
u could change into someone else without u urself notice bout it..
ur behavior..ur lifestyle..ur style..and even sometimes ur life could change in flash..
we never know whats lies for us in the future..
what car we 'll afford to buy,,what kind of house we'll able to live in..and sometimes what type of person that we shall be..
it was all actually depends on us..

but apart from just being urself...is it possible that we change for the better??
i beleive people around u always say "just be urself and everything will be ok"
does it?
sometimes we need to change..change in becoming a better person..
change into someone that other people can trust...can be with..
but sometimes without us notice,,we tend to change into someone that are totally different from who we're supposed to be..change into someone will only gives trouble to others...
change into someone others could not stand of..
no..thats not "change" is all about..
we have to think before doing things..
we need to analyze the consequences...
what i mean by change is actually be better from who u are now but not change and become someone else...thats not rite...
dont change just to satisfy others...
thats by all mean u have to be urself..
let others like u for who u are..
for what u've become...

dont change for the better of others...change for the benefit to urself...
stand up for what u beleive in..
and u'll be ok.....

life is to short to be somebodyelse....

yeah...just like the examples in da picture....there are from the same person but different lifestyle....the real me is somewhere in between......just waiting for the right time to shine!....

Lost...

lost..".im totally lost without u."..
lost...just a simple word but..it can change the world..a world of ur own...the world of others..it can moved the world..it can moved a person to change the world...
only by this simple word it also can change a person's life...
lost can be anything...
either u will find that lost things again or totally loose it forever...
we never know...
i've "lost" lots of 'things' in my life...which things that accidentally missing...
or things that left me behind...
i lost my lucky pen...
i lost my favorite books..
i lost my memorable cds...and..
i do lost the person that i loved most...

this are the story...stories that had yet i told anybody how i felt...

my grandma...the person that i cherish most...
that i love,,,i adored...which the person who cared for me since i was born..
a person who sheltered me from the cruel and jealousy people around me....
who always be there whenever i need her...who also spoiling me with presents...mm...lots of them...but the most important things are...she always guide me..in becoming a person who i am now...shes my guardian angel..although she passed away when i was still young...all the memories and thought she gave me has becoming a guide for me in facing the world in front of me...all the things that she has said and done had been pass down to my mom..and now is passing down to me...

i miss her...
i miss her smile...
i miss all the memories we had together...
although its been 13 years ago..but her presence are here staying and guiding me in facing 'life'...
i can feel it...eerriieee??
but its just some sort of a feeling which i couldn't express tru words...
i still remember a moment which i neglected her because of some stupid things...i noe im still young and naive but as i thought bout it..im not supposed to do that...am i??
the nite after she left us...i dreamt of her... which i still remember until now..
i saw her...
shes smiling at me...she brought me to a place which i cant recall..the place was beautiful...i remember that the place was somewhere in a train station which are situated inside a forest...a very beautiful forest...the train station itself have its own architectural features which can be found in our Stesen KTM KL...
Its a very nice place...
she brought me into the forest...which then i saw a pond and a waterfall...the view are spectacular..(what i can remember)..she ask me to go with her inside the waterfall...she wanted to spend time with me..we bath..we played until the moment she say good bye...
although not by word but the gesture she make..shows its time for her to leave me.... again...
slowly she vanished tru the thin air...
i cried...and i cried until a nice and calm voice woke me up...
sitting beside me was my mother...
she hug me and slowly i stop crying..
i wanted to tell her but then im still a young girl who are trying to understand what are the message all bout...
i didnt tell anybody bout it until...now...

some say its a way of telling the one they love a message that they couldnt tell before they died..
some say its just "mainan tidur"
but whatever other people say...i believe thats the way of her saying good bye to me...

whenever i thought of her..i felt her warmth covering me...

my mom always said that i look pretty much just like her..not just by the looks but almost everything..
how i talk..
how i walk...
how i move...
which always remind her of my grandma...
my mommy love her so much..
although she never told me how she felt..as a daughter...i noe that she feel sad and lonely when my grandma died...sometimes i saw her crying...but she tried not to let me saw her crying....
she doesnt want me to noe bout it..coz she doesnt want me to feel sad...she had shown her strength...
she is tough....shes my mommy...
i love her so much..
beside my grandma...shes the one who always guided me...in facing my journey in becoming a 'woman'...
i love both of them...
they are my two heroin who always going to be my guardian angel...forever n eva...

i lost one of them...but..
i still have one who will always be there for me...

kampung musiC

kampung music??
country music???
what do you guys think bout this so called "western music"?
emm...
ok..
some of you may not even know how does it sounds rite..
i mean wat kind of music they play,,,instrument...
some of these so called "new generations" may ask..
what is it all about??
emmm...

why do they called it country music..
ok .....i believe in ur mind rite now,,,probably been thinking bout country side...
emm...
i mean "kampung" in Malaysian terms...
if to relate a bit to our Malaysia....
emmm..
country music can be part of the traditional music that we often played in some part of Malaysia itself...
ya...
for example..

dondang sayang....emmm..wondering what dondang syg are??
u type "dondang sayang" on the google search..
taddaaaaaa...u will get the answer..
believe me,,,dis time im telling u something for ur future usage...
emm..on how to use the internet 'wisely'...
wawawa..

wow...
thats the reality in this 'technologic' world...
again...
back to the topics..
country music..emm what is it actually all about??

emmm...
this is what i undersatnd and emmm...maybe 'copied' a bit from my 'source'...
wawawa...
country music is simpler and uses fewer instruments, relying on guitar, fiddle, banjo, and harmonica.....
it was also directly descended from the folk songs, ballads, and popular songs....

emm.. almost all of the artist are not quite famous compare to the other band or genre.. but.. those were the days... these days???
emm.. u can see for urself... the nearest examples are Hannah Montana aka Miley Cyrus.. i bet most of u know her.. or at least know her song.. huhuuh
her dad was not quite famous...(or its just because i didn't know him ...doesn't means he's not popular enough rite...)
maybe he 'was' famous..those days.
yaahhh...those were the days...
yeah.... that is probably one of the thing..

but this country music is actually can ease ur stress..
but depends on what stage the stress are...
later i will put one of the example..literally...later means not in a moment..not tomorrow or next few days..
maybe in my next post....

so its actually nice to have something other than just a ballad,,,pop song...rock..etc

yaeh something new for a change...
but not try to different..

somtimes being different is good but most of the time...
nahhhh..
its a bad idea...but it also depends on the situation itself...
hehehe

These are some of the country singer that maybe u know and maybe u've not even heard of them before..
wawawa


the rascal flat


Taylor swift


Julianne Hough

i guess thats for now..
i hope u'll enjoy the video...

this song not just a song,,,
it was called tough..
it has a true deep meaning in each lyrics,,
word by word...
its about how a person can be tough in facing obstacle as they go through life...
no matter what happen..life must go on..believe me...

Love is in tHe air

...love is in the air...

....love is all around you....
....its up to you to understand....
....to realize it for urself....
...no one can ever help u...
...its only u that can help urself...

..just believe in ur tru inner self...
..believe me...
coz
..i know...

Alwayz N ForEvEr

"alwayz and forever..."

nice caption isnt it...
it mean a lot...
uhhh...i mean...
it gives lots of different meanings...
emmm...
maybe some of u will take it positively...

such as...
loving u alwayz until the end of my lifetime...
or maybe...
i'll be there for u always and forever..
i guess so..
but guess what..
there are some of us out there,,,prefer to 'see' it in a negetive point of view....

wanna example???

nahhh...never mind...
i guess u guys are pretty much do understand what it means rite...

hope so..wawawa...


actually...
today while im surfing 'around' the internet,,,
i found one song... which after for a while,...
listening to it over and over again...
i realize ....it does sound like the remix of titanic which i quite like it...

its not like techno or trance but,,,,a bit of a rapping thing...
the lyrics...emm..honstly im not quite sure what are they talking bout but the video clip about pon and zi are quite cute and cuddly...
hehehe..

i believe that some of u guys know this cartoon..
they are quite popular..
couple of the year,,,
heheeh...
emm..
i hope u guys do enjoy this ...
as much as i do....

tomorrow,,, we will never knows....

life..
i like the 'word',,
it has full of meaning which sometimes neither do i couldnt explain it...
life is not just about what lies in front of us..or something has yet to come...or even something that we are not quite sure what the purpose are...
thats the beauty of it...
same as the word 'tomorrow'

tomorrow...
and tomorrow...and tomorrow,,
what does it means??

emm..
"i love u not just today..tomorrow.... but for eternity..."
emmm..
"tomorrow never dies?"

whatever are the meaning or the different kind of interpretation of it..
it still does have something to do with life...
we will never know what will happen tomorrow..
sometimes it will end up with something good..
something bad,,,
something sad..
and sometimes quite depressing ...
i guess so...
thats what i think and gained through my 21st experience in life...
experience which i sometimes doesn't even sure why,,,
all in the hand of God...
He chose every step we take..
He chose every move we make..
which are actually not totally 'chose' it for us but...
guide us,,,
give us some sort of direction...
direction to move forward....
to move further...
and make us felt much more confident in facing whatever lies upon us tomorrow...
sometimes we will never noe either one of us will still be there to face the challenge in front of us...
we will never noe..and sometimes we didnt realize something that actually are important laying in front of us until we lost it...that is life...

'tomorrow may or may not be"

kal ho na ho...

one of my favorite movie of all time...
watch it is a must...
then u will understand the meaning of 'tomorrow'...
tomorrow...

our friendship may or may not be last forever...

our relationship may or may not be like what we have today....

our love's one may or may not be there for us anymore to share feelings like we used to...

tomorrow...

Defer not till tomorrow to be wise, tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise.
William Congreve

song....kal ho na ho...

just for you...

U aNd i....

emmm..
ok fine today is actually nothng special happen except that our group are the best among the rest,,,
i mean for now..
later on if they change the perception,,,she still ,,,i say,,,

aisey its actually past my bed time..
so gnna go..
i'll deal with u later on,,

LoVe...

ok....life must go on...thats one of my most favorite quotes of all time...
because i do believe in it..dont u guys too?? Life is to short to begin with....so either u'll trying to enjoy life (as much as i do) or just babbling around talking about something annoying and making others life miserable...its just don't work like that...sometimes although there are lots of obstacle we may face in life....or maybe some happy moments happen but in a short of time,,,thats what we called life...its not something that we wanted always happen according to our plan...rite..
it doesn't work that way...believe me...
but in each life we apparently at least have those kind of feeling...which is love...

love is an adjective word which are abstract and only an individual can interpret what it means in their own perspective ways...different people have different interpretation...but most of us..i do believe that each one of us have this feelings although just a little bit of it..
only sometimes we didnt realize it until the very end...
there are so many examples that we can see around us...
for example love to ur parents....
love to ur friends...
love to ur lecturers (dont get wrong k)
love to ur pets..
love to ur "somebody"
so there are several type of love which i cant recall all..
but that is the fact....love is everywhere..truly everywhere..
emmm...
there are this quotes from this guy which are similar to what my grandma used to say...(maybe she took it from him...i dont noe...maybe..)

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

James A. Baldwin

yeah believe me ...those are the word that came from my grandma..emm..grandma..
yeah shes probably reading this from somewhere up there..way up there...
she is one of the person that i loved most...
she's my guardian angel...she's the love of my life...i mean after my parents of course..
she thought me every single taste of life...she open my eyes to a different world...different perspective on things..although im pretty still a young an innocent girl..the memories and all the thoughts she gave me...still remain in my mind...
1995...friday (a very blessful day)...she passed away when im in standard one...shes gone...gone in the time i need her most...when the time life are all spinning around me...i need her...but God love her most...
shes been taken away from me...away...far..which she could never return...but i noe every single things happen must have reasons..reasons which only He knows...

love is a battle....love is war..

battle as we speak is not what it seems...u noe...somtimes..we re not only battle with the others but also a 'person' that lies within us...
we battle with ourselves in making the rite decision coz we never noe whats rite for us...untill we try it...
in order to get or to reach ones love, must also have sacrifices ,,battle is a must...
with the people around us...
with the people who against us...
with the people who are always jealous of our happiness..
and ....
fight with the unknown (whichever things that u think it might be,,,,)
just to gain the love which are meant for us...

lots of grammar mistake???
im doing it on purpose actually...
some sort of art...artistic lies within me...
awawawwa...
whatever,,,

love is growing up...????
emm..no idea yet...but for me, as time passes by...the love that we had together with our love ones tend to grow..eventually..without us noticing it..strange n unbelievable??
belive it..
coz its the truth...
try looking at the people around u..i bet u will find at least 'a' couple ..
talking bout a couple...i have this two friends which are a young and energetic boy n a cute chubby littgurl,,,
they've been friend for like...forever but they tend to make each other suffers...everyday..
quarrel all the time is a must...
having a bad day becoz of her/him is totally unavoidable..
but as time passing by...suddenly they change...
theres no more fight...
no more bad days...
no more misery (just exaggerating)

rainbows are all around,,,
blooming red roses are everyday....happy feelings...happy thought filled in each corner of their lives...
y???? coz...
they had fall in love with each other without noticing it...
yeahh..
just like inside those movies rite...
but thats the truth...
love does grow....
not physically....but mentally and inner self..inside u....
i noe that some of us may not believe in this kind of stuff...
but it can happen...
just have faith in them...
who are the friends that i mention about???
emm.....maybe I'll keep that as a secret...secret that only me will noe until the end...

owh god,,,,, look at the time....
emmm...
i should be somewhere by now....(actually going for shopping with mommy...)
so i let u think bout the rest k..
any opinion???
tell me...
we can sort this out....
hehehehe

until next time...
chiow!!!

ok before i go,,, this is something for u guys emm...a video which have a meaningful lyrics..
which shows how two people couldn't live without each other...couldnt live without love...

no air,,,

Tell me how I'm supposed to
breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in
a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can
make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[ Chorus ]
Tell me how I'm supposed to
breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me o ut here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
whoa
No air, air
whoa
No air, air
whoa
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gra vity to
hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

But how do you expect m e
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[ Chorus ]
Tell me how I'm supposed to
breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
whoa
No air, air
whoa
No air, air
whoa
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[ Chorus ]
Tell me how I'm supposed to
breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

[ Chorus ]
Tell me how I'm supposed to
breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain 't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air

No air, air No air, air

for a astarting point...

ok...
first of all...this is actually not my first time blogging its just its been,,,
emmm.
for quite sometimes that i didnt have the exact time n of course,,,word to express whatever im supposed to express..
i hope u guys do understand...


ok for the starting point..
i mean,,, for my first blog...
theres nothing much to say..
yeah...
emmm..
i know its a bit boring but...
well...
its for the first post...
maybe next time u'll probably seeing me posting something extravaganza..
yeahh,,,
i guess thats the rite :word"
hehehe..
ok..
until then...
c ya...
but before i go...
these is something for the people out there that might not know that..
recently...our artist (singers) had done a unity project...
and it was called...
HeRe IN My hOmE...

it was an awesome song..
i love it...
it was truly meaningful...
i hope u guys enjoy it as much as i do....