Lost...

lost..".im totally lost without u."..
lost...just a simple word but..it can change the world..a world of ur own...the world of others..it can moved the world..it can moved a person to change the world...
only by this simple word it also can change a person's life...
lost can be anything...
either u will find that lost things again or totally loose it forever...
we never know...
i've "lost" lots of 'things' in my life...which things that accidentally missing...
or things that left me behind...
i lost my lucky pen...
i lost my favorite books..
i lost my memorable cds...and..
i do lost the person that i loved most...

this are the story...stories that had yet i told anybody how i felt...

my grandma...the person that i cherish most...
that i love,,,i adored...which the person who cared for me since i was born..
a person who sheltered me from the cruel and jealousy people around me....
who always be there whenever i need her...who also spoiling me with presents...mm...lots of them...but the most important things are...she always guide me..in becoming a person who i am now...shes my guardian angel..although she passed away when i was still young...all the memories and thought she gave me has becoming a guide for me in facing the world in front of me...all the things that she has said and done had been pass down to my mom..and now is passing down to me...

i miss her...
i miss her smile...
i miss all the memories we had together...
although its been 13 years ago..but her presence are here staying and guiding me in facing 'life'...
i can feel it...eerriieee??
but its just some sort of a feeling which i couldn't express tru words...
i still remember a moment which i neglected her because of some stupid things...i noe im still young and naive but as i thought bout it..im not supposed to do that...am i??
the nite after she left us...i dreamt of her... which i still remember until now..
i saw her...
shes smiling at me...she brought me to a place which i cant recall..the place was beautiful...i remember that the place was somewhere in a train station which are situated inside a forest...a very beautiful forest...the train station itself have its own architectural features which can be found in our Stesen KTM KL...
Its a very nice place...
she brought me into the forest...which then i saw a pond and a waterfall...the view are spectacular..(what i can remember)..she ask me to go with her inside the waterfall...she wanted to spend time with me..we bath..we played until the moment she say good bye...
although not by word but the gesture she make..shows its time for her to leave me.... again...
slowly she vanished tru the thin air...
i cried...and i cried until a nice and calm voice woke me up...
sitting beside me was my mother...
she hug me and slowly i stop crying..
i wanted to tell her but then im still a young girl who are trying to understand what are the message all bout...
i didnt tell anybody bout it until...now...

some say its a way of telling the one they love a message that they couldnt tell before they died..
some say its just "mainan tidur"
but whatever other people say...i believe thats the way of her saying good bye to me...

whenever i thought of her..i felt her warmth covering me...

my mom always said that i look pretty much just like her..not just by the looks but almost everything..
how i talk..
how i walk...
how i move...
which always remind her of my grandma...
my mommy love her so much..
although she never told me how she felt..as a daughter...i noe that she feel sad and lonely when my grandma died...sometimes i saw her crying...but she tried not to let me saw her crying....
she doesnt want me to noe bout it..coz she doesnt want me to feel sad...she had shown her strength...
she is tough....shes my mommy...
i love her so much..
beside my grandma...shes the one who always guided me...in facing my journey in becoming a 'woman'...
i love both of them...
they are my two heroin who always going to be my guardian angel...forever n eva...

i lost one of them...but..
i still have one who will always be there for me...

kampung musiC

kampung music??
country music???
what do you guys think bout this so called "western music"?
emm...
ok..
some of you may not even know how does it sounds rite..
i mean wat kind of music they play,,,instrument...
some of these so called "new generations" may ask..
what is it all about??
emmm...

why do they called it country music..
ok .....i believe in ur mind rite now,,,probably been thinking bout country side...
emm...
i mean "kampung" in Malaysian terms...
if to relate a bit to our Malaysia....
emmm..
country music can be part of the traditional music that we often played in some part of Malaysia itself...
ya...
for example..

dondang sayang....emmm..wondering what dondang syg are??
u type "dondang sayang" on the google search..
taddaaaaaa...u will get the answer..
believe me,,,dis time im telling u something for ur future usage...
emm..on how to use the internet 'wisely'...
wawawa..

wow...
thats the reality in this 'technologic' world...
again...
back to the topics..
country music..emm what is it actually all about??

emmm...
this is what i undersatnd and emmm...maybe 'copied' a bit from my 'source'...
wawawa...
country music is simpler and uses fewer instruments, relying on guitar, fiddle, banjo, and harmonica.....
it was also directly descended from the folk songs, ballads, and popular songs....

emm.. almost all of the artist are not quite famous compare to the other band or genre.. but.. those were the days... these days???
emm.. u can see for urself... the nearest examples are Hannah Montana aka Miley Cyrus.. i bet most of u know her.. or at least know her song.. huhuuh
her dad was not quite famous...(or its just because i didn't know him ...doesn't means he's not popular enough rite...)
maybe he 'was' famous..those days.
yaahhh...those were the days...
yeah.... that is probably one of the thing..

but this country music is actually can ease ur stress..
but depends on what stage the stress are...
later i will put one of the example..literally...later means not in a moment..not tomorrow or next few days..
maybe in my next post....

so its actually nice to have something other than just a ballad,,,pop song...rock..etc

yaeh something new for a change...
but not try to different..

somtimes being different is good but most of the time...
nahhhh..
its a bad idea...but it also depends on the situation itself...
hehehe

These are some of the country singer that maybe u know and maybe u've not even heard of them before..
wawawa


the rascal flat


Taylor swift


Julianne Hough

i guess thats for now..
i hope u'll enjoy the video...

this song not just a song,,,
it was called tough..
it has a true deep meaning in each lyrics,,
word by word...
its about how a person can be tough in facing obstacle as they go through life...
no matter what happen..life must go on..believe me...

Love is in tHe air

...love is in the air...

....love is all around you....
....its up to you to understand....
....to realize it for urself....
...no one can ever help u...
...its only u that can help urself...

..just believe in ur tru inner self...
..believe me...
coz
..i know...

Alwayz N ForEvEr

"alwayz and forever..."

nice caption isnt it...
it mean a lot...
uhhh...i mean...
it gives lots of different meanings...
emmm...
maybe some of u will take it positively...

such as...
loving u alwayz until the end of my lifetime...
or maybe...
i'll be there for u always and forever..
i guess so..
but guess what..
there are some of us out there,,,prefer to 'see' it in a negetive point of view....

wanna example???

nahhh...never mind...
i guess u guys are pretty much do understand what it means rite...

hope so..wawawa...


actually...
today while im surfing 'around' the internet,,,
i found one song... which after for a while,...
listening to it over and over again...
i realize ....it does sound like the remix of titanic which i quite like it...

its not like techno or trance but,,,,a bit of a rapping thing...
the lyrics...emm..honstly im not quite sure what are they talking bout but the video clip about pon and zi are quite cute and cuddly...
hehehe..

i believe that some of u guys know this cartoon..
they are quite popular..
couple of the year,,,
heheeh...
emm..
i hope u guys do enjoy this ...
as much as i do....

tomorrow,,, we will never knows....

life..
i like the 'word',,
it has full of meaning which sometimes neither do i couldnt explain it...
life is not just about what lies in front of us..or something has yet to come...or even something that we are not quite sure what the purpose are...
thats the beauty of it...
same as the word 'tomorrow'

tomorrow...
and tomorrow...and tomorrow,,
what does it means??

emm..
"i love u not just today..tomorrow.... but for eternity..."
emmm..
"tomorrow never dies?"

whatever are the meaning or the different kind of interpretation of it..
it still does have something to do with life...
we will never know what will happen tomorrow..
sometimes it will end up with something good..
something bad,,,
something sad..
and sometimes quite depressing ...
i guess so...
thats what i think and gained through my 21st experience in life...
experience which i sometimes doesn't even sure why,,,
all in the hand of God...
He chose every step we take..
He chose every move we make..
which are actually not totally 'chose' it for us but...
guide us,,,
give us some sort of direction...
direction to move forward....
to move further...
and make us felt much more confident in facing whatever lies upon us tomorrow...
sometimes we will never noe either one of us will still be there to face the challenge in front of us...
we will never noe..and sometimes we didnt realize something that actually are important laying in front of us until we lost it...that is life...

'tomorrow may or may not be"

kal ho na ho...

one of my favorite movie of all time...
watch it is a must...
then u will understand the meaning of 'tomorrow'...
tomorrow...

our friendship may or may not be last forever...

our relationship may or may not be like what we have today....

our love's one may or may not be there for us anymore to share feelings like we used to...

tomorrow...

Defer not till tomorrow to be wise, tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise.
William Congreve

song....kal ho na ho...

just for you...